Cut
by kai1fan2
Summary: When Kai becomes addicted to a knife, what will it take for his team to help? Will Kai ever admit to wanting help when the pain helps him remember his dark past? Dark Fic. Possible smut in later chapters.


Another dawn, another day that I beat Tyson. Not much of a surprise.

The training today had been just as hard as the day before. We worked ourselves like dogs. Well, Tyson did. I just worked.

I flopped on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. For some reason, Tyson was starting to get on my nerves. I'm surprised I didn't think of that sooner.

I heard a knock on my door. I was too numb to get up, so instead I said, "come in."

I turned my head toward the door to see Hilary, our sort of cheerleader whom Tyson despised. That's the only reason I like to have her around. "Are you ok?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "You looked pretty out of it earlier."

My eyes found their way back to the ceiling. I didn't even know why. How could I tell her?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hilary glance at the floor. "I guess you don't want to talk. If you do, I'm here." I saw the door close. Now she's going to be angry with me, but I couldn't think anymore. I drifted into sleep.

-The next day-

I woke flustered and hot. Who turned up the heat? Wait, it's June. Nevermind.

A knock came to my door. "Hey, Kai, just wanted to let you know that breakfast is almost done. You should get down there before Tyson gets up." The voice belonged to Hilary.

I flipped over, glancing at my clock. 7:30. I slept in. And that weird dream...

I took my time getting dressed, feeling a calm mood wash over me. My thoughts suddenly went back to Russia. Where's Tala now? Training like me? My calm mood was overtaken by the depressed mood.

Another knock came to my door, then it was opened. "Hey, Kai, we're getting Tyson up. Be prepared for no breakfast," Ray said. I didn't answer him. My door closed. It's going to be one of those days again.

I looked on my nightstand. I don't know why; I don't know what I'm looking for. It didn't worry me too much. I started downstairs, the smell of pancakes in the air. Good thing I skipped breakfast today. I'm not a fan of Hilary's pancakes. Anything else she makes is ok, but not the pancakes. How could anyone ever screw up pancakes?

I walked into the kitchen, everyone gathered around the table. Max is watching Tyson gobble pancakes. Ray is chatting with Hilary. Kenny is nowhere in sight, not that I much care.

I walked past the table and grabbed an apple from the fridge. Peeling it slowly, I stared at the knife rather than the apple. "Kai!" I jumped, cutting my finger just a little. I didn't respond to whoever said my name. I stared at the blood. Why?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard someone ask if I was ok. I gave no response. I was pushed into a chair. Hilary asked if I was about to pass out. From that little of a cut, no. Ray put a small bandage on it. Why were they so worried?

I looked up into Ray's eyes, signaling to him I was ok, if only a little. I felt a slap on my shoulder, probably Tyson. "Man, don't scare us like that this early in the morning."

I'm sorry was what I was going to say, but my throat didn't want to cooperate with me. I looked back at the knife I dropped on the floor. Why?

I got up from the chair and everyone moved out of my way. I picked up the knife at the hilt and stared at it. The air changed to a chill. I suddenly dropped the knife into the sink and everyone let out a held breath. I didn't want to know what they thought I was going to do.

I picked up my half-peeled apple from the counter and made my way outside. I needed some fresh air. My thoughts were all jumbled up. A picture of Tala flowed through my brain. What I don't know is why.

I decided to take a short walk to the beach to practice my blading. I set up all the cans and bottles, most half filled with water to weigh them down. Launching my blade, Dranzer flew through the air, slicing most of the cans with ease.

I walked over to the sliced cans, setting them up for another round when I noticed a broken bottle at my foot. I knelt down, picking up the shards. I walked over to the nearest garbage can and discarded them. I hadn't noticed the blood on my fingers until I realized my launcher was slipping through my fingers. I was numb to the pain.

Quitting for the time being, I made my way back to Tyson's house. The guys were blading amongst themselves, Hilary yelling compliments at them, even Tyson. I stood at the front of the dojo, waiting for someone to notice. Ray was the first to notice. "Hey, Kai. Where have you been? We started training right after you left.

I looked down at my bloody fingers, Ray's eyes following mine. He gasped, grabbing my wrists. "What happened?" That's when everyone else ran over to see.

The only word I said was, "glass." They knew that it meant, 'I cut my fingers on glass.' Ray dragged me into the kitchen, turning on the sink. I lowered my hands to the warm water. I turned over my hands, cuts clearly visible now that most of the blood was washed away. I looked up at Ray and said, "no pain."

Ray gave me a questioning look. "You don't feel the pain?" I nodded. "Well, I would think that would hurt, but that's just me."

I looked back down at my hands and experimentally touched a cut on my forefinger. A little pain, but nothing unbearable. Ray put a small bandage on each finger where the cuts were. It looked like I meant to cut my fingers. I rose my hands to eye level. Why do I not feel it?

"Is this going to become a regular thing?" Ray laughed.

Don't worry. This is only the beginning.

With my hands bandaged, I couldn't train at all. I sat next to Hilary for the next week, waiting for the cuts to heal.

"Tyson, try a sharper turn," Hilary screamed out. She's right, I realized watching Tyson. His turns are too wide. Anyone could attack him with that kind of play.

Tyson ran up to Hilary. I studied his facial expressions. "If you have the right to criticize, you try."

"Tyson." They both looked at me, suddenly quiet. "She's right, and don't ask me to try because I can't." With a bandaged finger, I pointed at Ray. They both looked. Tyson folded his arms, confused. "Watch what Ray is doing. Maybe you'll learn something."

For once, Tyson stood quietly, watching Ray. After a few minutes, Tyson said, "ok, I think I got it." He walked back to the open spot. Launching Dragoon, he picked up speed, letting Dragoon flow into the sharp turn. Hilary exclaimed in happiness. "Alright, you got it, Tyson!"

"Never done a turn that sharp. Thanks, Kai." I didn't answer Tyson, my eyes now on Max. He doesn't seem to be having much difficulty. My eyes fell back on Ray. He's doing ok as well.

I looked down at my hands for the thousandth time today. If I keep watching them train, I'm going to want to as well, and that just makes me depressed. I tugged one of the bandages off, pulling skin with it. No blood, but it will leave a little scar.

Hilary looked down at my hands. "They stopped bleeding, huh? That's good." I don't know why, but the fact that the cuts stopped bleeding made me sad. It's scaring me.

"Hilary, can I tell you something?"

She had a puzzled look, but otherwise was all ears. "Sure. You can tell me anything."

"For some reason, when I'm cut I don't feel it and it doesn't bother me, and when you asked if it stopped bleeding, it made me a little sad that it did. I also have a habit of staring at knives. Why?"

She seemed more puzzled now then she was before. "That does seem a little curious. Maybe you should talk with Mr. Dickenson about this. I can't think of anyone else you should talk to, and for now, don't tell your teammates. They'll worry about you when they don't need to."

I stood up, making my way out of the dojo. Walking to the BBA, I pulled my bandages off of my fingers. I hope I can get to the bottom of this.

I walked up to the front desk. The secretary, Marlene, greeted me. "Hello, Kai. Nice to see you again. Is there something I can do for you?"

I leaned against the desk. "Can I see Mr. Dickenson?"

She grabbed the phone. "Let me see." I left her to her phone call. I walked up to a vending machine. Slipping a dollar in, I hit a button, not caring what came out. I stared at it, waiting for my soda. I kicked the bottom, a can sliding down the machine. A sprite popped out. Staring at the can, I made my way back to the front desk. Marlene seemed happy to see me again. "Oh, I was wondering where you went. You really should stop sneaking around." I stared at her until she continued. "Mr. Dickenson will see you."

I smirked. "That's all I wanted to hear." Deciding to take the elevator, I went upstairs. His office was at the far end of the hallway. Passing tons of rooms, I thought about what I should say to him. By the time I got to his office, I hadn't come up with anything.

I knocked on the door and opened it a crack. "Kai, my boy, come in." I walked in, closing the door behind me. "You wanted to see me?"

I looked down at my shoes then back up. "Um, yes, I did. I've noticed something weird about my body." He stared at me, puzzled. I continued. "I cut myself, on accident, with a knife and felt no pain. I peeled the band aid away, and Hilary said it had stopped bleeding, and it made me sad. What I don't know is why and it's scaring me. Hilary suggested I should ask you."

"Hmmm…." He stroked his beard. "Your body might be getting used to it. Kind of like an adrenaline rush."

"Can I stop it?"

He shrugged. "Maybe, but it's doubtful. It's a kind of addiction. Like any addiction, it takes specialized support. I can call some numbers and get you a therapist…."

I waved him off. "No, no, it's ok. I wouldn't go that far. I just don't feel pain. I'm not addicted."

"I'm assuming it just started." I nodded. "It takes time to be fully addicted and you don't want to wait that long. Let me just give you these numbers and you can do with them what you want."

He handed me a piece of paper with the numbers on them. I folded it and put it in my pocket. "Anything else before I leave?"

He shook his head. "Not unless there is something else bothering you."

"Nope. I've told you the worst. If you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave."

"Oh, you don't have to be so formal. Don't be a stranger. You can come here anytime. I'll be happy to see you."

I let a small smile slide through the roughs of my face. "Thanks, Mr. Dickenson, for all your help." I waved him goodbye and left his office.

I made my way back to the dojo feeling anger wash over me. I still don't know why. Could it be the memories from the past locked inside of my head?


End file.
